RANDOM POST
(read it and forget about it)
you have the option.
Disclaimer: No recent events have occurred, resulting in this entry.
I actually have tonnes of things to blog.
So, don't get confused along the way.
I'll give some sort of a cue if I'm transiting to another whole lot different issue.
Well.. here i go.
I'm not a brag.
I don't for that matter.
BUT, after really digesting what sis have told me over the night,
I felt a bit honored in a sense.
She once told me this,
and whole lot of other stuff as well.
like....
1. "You do not know how many of my friends actually wanna be a part of you."
2. "My friends been telling me how honored I am to be a part of you; as my bro for that matter."
There're others, but I just can't seem to type it out.
It came as a total shock for me.
it felt like i was in the lime-light.
Am I that special to certain beings?? despite me and he/she is a total stranger.
Am I THAT of a "role-model" to many others??
Those impromtu questions will flash back and forth;
left unanswered
I aint some negative-ass here,
but, IF you were in my shoes, you'll probably know what I'm talking about.
To the people who feel that I'm special to them (in one way or another),
I thank you.
Thats all i can say.
You do see what I'm looking at right?
Haha!
I'm in my own world.
OK.
Next bit.
Let me tell you an incident that happened long ago
but it was only till recently that i felt the "impact".
I had this dream.
(my assumption of this dream I had: i was a DAD)
I was somewhere.
With someone.
I couldn't make up how his facial features were.
For all I know, and if memory was serving me right.
He goes by this name.
DANIAL ASHIQ.
Some of you might have heard it from me EARLY THIS YEAR.
Although I could not put the pieces together, all I could remember was 50% of the dream.
haha!
Did that dream brought me forward, giving me a chance to peep into my future?
Cos' the feeling was no where near what I would feel at my current age.
It was the first time I handed so much LOVE onto someone.
one, i felt fatherly.
two, that kid in my dream; 13-16 years of age.
My assumption was, I was a dad to that kid.
If my memory is serving me well again,
I remember talking to this "son" of mine.. the feeling, nothing that I've felt before.
When I was woken up by a sudden jolt, I felt that I deserve to die.
It felt like I've lost someone I dear so much.
"A father may not show his love towards you,
but deep inside he loves you more than anything else."
Insert that into my context.
And the after-effect.
I felt empty, that's for sure.
ALTHOUGH it was just a dream, the impact was carved into me.
The moment I got jolted, I couldn't get back to sleep.
and I actually asked my friends in an attempt to know whether they happen to know anybody with the name,
DANIAL ASHIQ.
It was UNSUCCESSFUL though.
I actually embedded that name into my memory; for the near future I guess.
and if I were to have a son, I would name my son DANIAL ASHIQ.
DREAMS CAN BE FREAKY.
That was how drastic mine was.
So, not till recently, I got to know of someone with almost the same name as the one mentioned above.
When I saw the name, my mind went two ways.
1, back to the past.
2, into the future.
(I'm not being some dumb-ass stalker if that's what you're thinking Danial. hahaha!)
IT literally set me to thinking mode.
again.
was that person in my dream DANIAL AFIQ or did i mistook it for DANIAL ASHIQ?
Dreams can never be correct when you're recalling it after so long.
OK.
You might think that I'm some weirdo.
haha!
I admit I'm acting like one now.
BUT... when Dejavu sort of thing happens, it'll freak you out.
WELL, i was.
"biarlah ia menjadi persoalan di hati"
I must say, the motive of writing is not clear in this entry.
Like I've said before, I just can't compose myself.
I'm writing this down in my blog, cos in months to come,
hopefully, it would serve me as a station for me to recall.
i got MOST of it that if thats what you wanna know.
heh.....
alrighty.
tiredness is overtaking me.
better get going.
i'll TRY to enlighten more next time.
ciao!