So, yesterday, i got terribly pissed at no one but myself.
I just cant help to bring myself down to tears.
and that lasted for 15 minutes or so.
I know the sort of person that I am.
I can be determined to settle things as fast i want to.
BUT there's always sth that drags me away from that determination.
i KNOW it'll lead me to consequences.
as stubborn as i can get, i'll end up not proving what i believe in,
believe in myself that is.
my figgin' com was being an utter bitch yesterday just as when i wanted to finish up my final project;
which is due on Sunday (today).
i got terribly mad that i smashed my tight fist onto the table.
the energy that was in me was yet the most undescribable feeling i've ever felt.
(i'm refraining myself from using vulgarities cos i know any one of my family members/relative would be reading this)
i must say that i was in depression mode that night.
i couldnt understand what was going on....
i ___________ myself, head for bed and hoping that i will not be alive the next day.
for those who are concern; PLEASE do it with caution; otherwise/most of the time, DON'T BOTHER.
SO WHAT'S UP?
exams is commencing tmr.
oh God, please bring me through this 2 weeks.
i've never been this stressed out in my whole entire life.
hence, i'm temporarily cutting off my social life.
IT'S FOR MY OWN GOOD.
i DO NOT wanna see bad results when i see my results slip.
i do not wanna disappoint myself,
most importantly, i do not wanna disappoint my parents.
that factor has lead me to be the "stress-out" person i am now.
the urge to prove my parents that i can be as clever and intelligent as they thought i was, is the most important thing right now.
school fees per semester costs a bomb. (S$1,660 per sem which is less than 6 months [i think]).
and having to repeat any module will cost another bomb.
so goodbye to all the jolly things on this Earth.
with that..
I'M PUTTING
THIS BLOG ON HIATUS.
till the end of my exams.
and sorry for the unorganised entry.
it's in a mess and whatever i wanted to let it out is yet to be spilled out.
i can feel the inside of me crying out loud.
i can feel the anger burning.
and i just want this to end badly.
goodbye.
"There is melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass"