as i write today's entry...
MIXED-EMOTION is running through me at this instant.
in other words, i do not know what to feel..
sis knows it best.
i shall keep it short.
(hopefully)
29th of DECEMBER 2007
to start with,
that's the day of hougang's concert.
mmhmm....
let's side track a little,
overall,
i thought their concert was great.
i mean, the volume and all.
i'm totally amazed..
favourites are "Flight of Valor"
and the first piece (that 'Enemy God...' piece)
and their Latin Gold [encore piece],
the gimmicks...?
good coordination........
cool stuff..
DISCLAIMER:
if u know the story of what happened, then you SHOULD understand;
otherwise, DON'T/NEVER judge me or make assumptions.
so back to my purpose of creating a post,
(which i never actually thought of writing an entry today)
i've longed let go of someone whom i call him bro.
why?
long story..
don't intend to get into the dirty details.
not gonna anymore.
anyhoos...
yeah....
it was "kinda" a day out with him and the others.
at first, i tried NOT to bother..
but as hours passed,
that failed miserably.
haha!
OK.
before some of u might think of sth else.
this person is a guy.
NO, I'M NOT GAY (goodness)..
he's just someone whom i use to call him bro.
THAT'S ALL...
gee...
as mentioned earlier,
i'm having mixed emotions...
STILL....
i do not know why.....
i just do not know why......
i kept wondering...
what happened throughout the whole day
STILL made me seriously not have a single clue
as to why i (and him) behaved that way.
let me try my best to list it down,
from.....
the moment we met at Bedok Inter where i just cant be bothered to talk to him,
to the moment i offered him my Caramel Frappe in Starbucks,
(at first he din want to, he then asked "what is yours?".
i replied and i offered him my drink again; he drank.)
to the moment that i gave him (and nad) a treat at 7eleven,
to the moment that the 5 of us would sit in the same row in the concert hall,
to the moment that i just felt like taking pictures [the 5 of us],
to the moment that i would sorta joke with him,
to the moment that when someone tried to take a pic of me,
he sorta went up to me in an attempt to take a pic together with me,
(or was i imagining things? haha!)
to the moment where i'd pass my phone convo with nina over to him,
to the moment where he asked me to carry him [piggy-back] of which i did
(asked him to get down cos i dont wanna hurt my back. sorry.)
to the moment where finah and nad would sorta hug his arm and skip
[he wasnt skipping cos tired i suppose?]
it felt like seeing ur kids having fun. that exact feeling.
& i swear that image is still fresh in my mind...
to the moment where his sarcasm attacked me..
to the moment i called him and said "hey.. next time no sarcasm please"
to the moment i took out my phone and smsed him after so long.
saying...
"i'm trying hard to forget things.. so don't remind me bout it..
and with sarcasms? na'ah...
anyway,i enjoyed myself today..
like seriously..
long time since that happened. =]"
yeah...
that was it..
SORRY if i sound so gay.
haha!
and to make ur minds clearer,
this is not a matter of me not being able to 'let things go',
BUT more to why i enjoyed myself that day.
i could have sworn that i felt so different after that day............
he was like some sort of elixir that would heal me maybe?
cos, i'm sure..
that fading feeling keeps coming back b'cos of the dreams i've been having.
yeah, dreams are very freaky...
and that one dream i had more than a month ago came true today.
mmhmm.....
maybe that's the reason i felt different after i got home.
yeah...
that could be it.........
so what am I gonna do now??
am still kinda CONFUSED but at the same time, after writing this entry
(which may make no sense to some of u)
i can see a clearer vision now.
i'll go with the flow...
for now....
who knows what may happen next...
but i'll be the one treating the wound that was once bruised.
thats for sure....
:)
maybe an entry about that soon.
well..
am kinda fatigue right now..
yeah, both mentally and physically.....
alrighty then....
that's all for now...
till my next entry...
ciao!
"till the next time we meet again...
yeah..."