I was feeling low that I decided to put on my running gear and shoes and head out for a run. Had no specific route this time round. All I felt like doing is to keep running. Ran for solid 45 minutes without stopping. Call me crazy. But it definitely puts my mind off of things. Stupid things to begin with. If only God can make us immortal and allow me to possess a power that can make me run non-stop, I would love God a trillion times more. Like seriously. Up till now, I was not sure of where I ran. All I know that it was for solid 45 minutes. I stopped running only after reaching my doorstep. I was panting, desperately in need of oxygen. Came back with a very wet shirt and sweat trickling down like mountain alps melting. Took off my shoes and thought how stupid I was. My thighs are in serious pain. Climbing up to my room seems like an unplanned torture. But it was all worth the pain. I get to put my mind off of something for solid 45 minutes. And guess what happens afterwards? Go figure!

For the love of God, I really need to consult the doctor. Gee. Pondering over unnecessary thoughts leads to stupidity. Well, at least that is what is happening right now. Suffering from an undiagnosed Insomnia (I diagnosed myself with Insomnia because I think I am suffering from it now) is not helping at all. All I feel like doing now, is to take a gun and give the best shot right at the temple of my nose anyone could ever give. That is arguably the best solution for now. But on the other hand, I know that is probably not very possible.

I shall make an agreement with myself. Since I can't sleep in the wee hours of the morning, I shall put on my running gear and shoes and head out for a run. Even if my thighs are in pain. Exertion leads to more pain but at least it gets to put my mind off of something. Yeah, that is exactly what I will do. Go for a run even if it is 4 am in the morning. How about that!

I am feeling screwed. Totally screwed. I was contemplating. I was browsing through some webs. I was giving a lot of thoughts towards it. And I realise that I am starting to really hate myself. I only have myself to blame as to why I hate myself. Except for some cases, I really blame her for it. Umm.. I mean her/him for it. A point to generalise for that matter. I am just too lazy to hold the 'backspace' button to strike that off. Before I spout nonsense again, I better end this entry right here, right now.

I may be lucky. Who knows. This will soon stop. But yet again, just how lucky can I get?! Lady Luck will definitely not be on my side. I think so too. I've been so naughty and foolish that even Lady Luck gets sick of me. There I go again, spouting nonsense. Anyway, it's true enough isn't it?

"Whoa. Look at Khai. Look at how much he has grown into a young adult."


If you can't find the source of the problem after reading this entry, don't bother reading it again. I only have myself to congratulate because it is meant to confuse whoever reads it. Yay me in advance.

Ugh whatever. Bye.

And please ignore the smile below.
So not in the mood to even put on a fake smile.
I might edit this entry again when I have more things to say.