Firstly, I feel so damn fuckin' disconnected. Maybe all of this was a fucking mistake. A horrible mistake. I have been seeking for my own happiness but why the fuck do I keep feeling the same each time? And honestly, I just do not trust you that much anymore. I fake smiles for you. I fake all the random conversations for you. I just cannot bear another day and all I have to do is come up with a fucking act. I don't really show my feelings in front of live human beings and it only takes a power of God for you to exactly know what it is.


Secondly, both my legs are in serious SERIOUS pain. Played Amazing Race during the camp. Ran practically from Bugis to Dhoby Ghaut back and forth. The aftermath, my legs got real tired. After camp debrief, pushed myself to walk to Orchard. And the walk was hell. I can feel that my legs were getting weaker and weaker till I could barely swing my knee to move forward. I was limping and the passers by could notice that I was rather, in much pain.

Getting home was sheer hell. Climbing up from the living room to my room took quite a while. And just how fuckin' unlucky can I get? VERY unlucky. I couldn't control much of my legs that I slipped and fell in the toilet. Almost got my head knocked onto the toilet bowl (that could have caused a concussion).
I feel so physically handicapped now.
Sigh :(

And fuck, when I say I am in serious pain, I mean serious SERIOUS pain. You want a taste of it? Let me break your bones and then tell me how that feels like.

Sorry for the filthy language used but I just had to use them because I feel so shitty right now. An entry with such filth appears once in a blue moon anyway.