I gave myself a break at two in the morning knowing that I pulled Saturday off. It was a long and tiring day, and that gave me all the reason to reward myself with the sleep I am much deprived of lately. I curled up on my bed, with pillows tucked in every corner of my body. I held on to them like how a small kid would tuck into bed with his/her teddy bear; only that it was pillows instead.

Usually, I would do a replay of my day; the things I have done and the things that I should have done. Rewinding back and remembering it all. I also call it a time for me to do self-reflection. For Saturday, I knew I did good.

And most of the time, the "video" would stop -- but not this time round.

It was a cooling night.
It was dark.
And it definitely felt nice.

I unknowingly shut my eyes and realised that within seconds, I was wide awake. But the thing is, my surrounding was brightly lit and it was windy, very windy. I got a little confused. I do not remember getting up from bed and be at the place I was at.

I felt grass in between the toes of my feet.
The wind blew so strong that I could feel it in my hair.
Tall palm trees were scattered and I could hear waves crashing periodically.

That is when I realised that I was at the beach. It was peaceful and it definitely felt nice. I succumbed to think how I got here because with the hectic schedule I am in every single day, I could not care less.

Although everything was tranquility at its best, time was moving very fast. I stood at one spot and with a blink of an eye, I was at least thirty steps away from where I stood. How odd.

All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice. It came from behind. I tried searching from which the voice is coming from, but to no avail, I see no one but the luscious greenery that I was surrounded by. I took little steps and without knowing, I was already in some apartment. I had no clue whose place I was at. Nevertheless, it was nicely decorated and it felt homey.

The same voice I heard at the beach echoed through the walls and I felt a touch on my shoulders from behind. When I turned, I recognised that face. The face of pure innocence which never fail to heal one's misery. I felt awkward and I doubt that beautiful soul was feeling it too.

I could see her eyes were swollen; like those you would get after crying. She began to pull my arm and brought me somewhere. All I could remember was that we had a conversation. I imagined myself at Starbucks chilling out and just have carefree conversations. Being with her which substituted all of that, it felt a million times better.

She grabbed my shirt with her head resting on my chest, holding on to me not wanting to let me go. The feeling of someone snugging is nice. From where she was, the smell of her hair was somehow therapeutic.

She asked me questions but what was weird that I could not hear myself replying to her. It was as if someone pressed the mute button on me. Somehow, she could understand me just from the movement of my lips.

Then, there were silence; the kind you would get in a soundproofed room.
Her soothing voice pierced through me.


Those are the words that I had wished to hear for a very long time.

Without hesitation, I lifted my arms and hugged her tightly. So tight that I could feel my 'love' energy going through her. Love which I had reserved for someone that I would want to spend my whole life with. For better or for worst, till death do us part.

Throughout the whole time, she was clinging onto me and with her presence, I could not be any happier.

Though it seemed like I was with her for a very long time, sadly, it was only momentarily. I started to feel strong vibrations on my cheek and realised I was still on my bed. What a bummer. My cell vibrated with '1 New Message' being flashed on the screen.

It was all a dream.
I was thrown back into reality.


Back to what I cannot have.